At some point in 2017, I stopped wanting to write on this blog and hardly posted anything. After moving out of Seattle in late 2016 things got really hard for everyone and I just wasn’t in a good space to write. I couldn’t sit there and pretend that everything was okay and I wasn’t ready to talk about everything. Things now are a lot better and there are big changes on the horizon so I wanted to give you a life update.
I’m back in school currently, taking a math and English class. It hasn’t been easy juggling the kids, house, school, etc. but I’m making it work. After taking a vacation to Florida in mid-January I’ve been feeling a lot better. The last vacation I took was with Nick in 2013 and it wasn’t a good vacation. So the trip to Florida was basically the first vacation I’ve gotten since Odin was born. It’s been a hard 9 years with no break but now that I’ve had one and see the difference I plan to make getting away for a short time a priority.
Nick’s currently kicking ass at his job, writing LinkedIn articles that are getting shared and liked all over the internet and trying really hard to show up for me and the kids. After my trip, I think he realized how hard it is to stay home and manage everything on his own. He seems more appreciative of all the things I do and is trying to do more.
Odin has had a tough year. He’s struggled with some behavioral issues at school and had to get an IEP. Since his IEP he has gotten extra help in school and is getting his work done. He tested for the advanced placement program but just barely didn’t make it. On top of that, his best friend moved to California and since then Odin has said that everything has changed. I know he has friends at school but he seems to be having a hard time fully connecting with his peers. I know he is lonely and with that comes sadness. As his mother, this absolutely breaks my heart but I don’t know what to do.
Gray is the polar opposite of his brother. He is doing well in school and his teacher wants to have him tested for the advanced placement program. He has many friends and even has a “girlfriend” that he is “married” to. In fact, the boy has so many girls chasing after him I can’t keep them all straight anymore. I swear he’ll be the death of me.
My baby is 2 now. Dessa is happy, sassy, adventurous, shy, brave, caring, and so much more. She spends most of her day helping me around the house, running errands with me or watching her favorite cartoons with the occasional nap. I can already tell that she is the creative type as she is always stealing my pens to draw on herself, the walls, my notebooks or whatever else she can find. With that being said, she’s pretty amazing.
Since late 2016 Nick and I haven’t been doing well. The move out of Seattle was extremely stressful and it feels like we couldn’t recover. There were constant fights, resentment and a total disconnect between us. While all this was going on we were looking at buying our first house. The further we got into the home buying process the more I felt like it didn’t feel right. We looked at buying a house close to where we are living now, then we thought we’d try to move closer to Seattle but that wasn’t an option. I finally got sick of it and told Nick that come this summer I’m moving back to the Midwest.
I haven’t wanted to be in Seattle since 2014. I’ve been honest and vocal about not wanting to live here and I decided that I just can’t anymore. I told Nick I was going with or without him and he’s free to do what he wants. I made plans with my parents for them to come out and help me move. Nick went back and forth if he wanted to go or not. He was most worried about his current job and what kind of job he could get if he could not stay in his current position. He did let him the company know that he was going to move and they decided to keep him on and let him work remotely. With that settled, he made the decision to move with me and the kids.
So the biggest changes are we are moving, I am finishing up a semester at my current college and then plan to transfer to a local college in either Wisconsin or Illinois, the kids will be changing school, Nick will be working remotely and we will be buying a house somewhere in the midwest. Man, that’s a lot of changes and those are only the big ones. I’m not going to lie, when I think about all the changes it makes me nervous. I’m once again leaving my comfort zone and going on another big life adventure. It’s terrifying and thrilling all at the same time.