As I sit here and look over my planner I’m realizing how many things I have coming up. I’m still trying to figure out how to get out of the house in a timely manner with a new baby and how long I can stay out before she melts down. So thinking about having to get out of the house with her and the unknown factors that come with it, is stressing me out. I’m wondering if I should reschedule some things.
On Monday I was going to sign up and attend a mommy and baby yoga class. On Tuesday I have an eye appointment and a hair appointment. On Thursday Dessa turns 1 month old and on Friday I have my consultation for surgery. On top of all that I have to pick up both boys from school with Dessa for the first time next week.
I’m almost 100% sure that I am going to hold off on the mommy and baby yoga classes until after I recover from any surgery I need. I don’t want to start something that I know I won’t be able to continue. I want to be able to build a good habit of going and having to stop to recover from surgery would kill that habit.
As for Tuesday, I have to go to my eye appointment. I’ve been needing contacts for well over a year and I”m sick of wearing my glasses all the time. I could reschedule my hair appointment for another day and the more I think about it the better it sounds. The only problem is that there isn’t really another day that works better. Dessa hates being in her car seat and having to stick her in it 2 days in a row sounds unpleasant for her and me. Plus, just getting everything taken care of in 1 day doesn’t sound anymore stressful than stretching her torture out for 2 days. In an ideal world I’d have someone to watch Dessa while I went to appointments, but I don’t. I was thinking I could squeeze it in on Friday after my consult because Nick will be home but I don’t know how long my consultation will be. The last thing I want to do is reschedule an appointment and then miss it all together. I think I’m just going to have to bite the bullet and have 1 very stressful day or have 2 somewhat stressful days.
If that wasn’t enough it doesn’t even begin to touch on how nervous I am about my consultation on Friday. I have very rarely needed to go to the doctor and the only time I’ve been to the hospital is for Odin’s birth and after I had Dessa. I’ve never had any kind of surgery and I’m nervous. I’m nervous they’ll tell me I need to be put under anesthesia or that I’ll need a spinal. I’m nervous that they will find something worse or things won’t go right. There are so many questions and thoughts spinning around my brain.
With all these things coming up and adjusting to Dessa and a new routine, I’m stressed. I’m tired but I can’t sleep. I pretty much live off of coffee and anything I can snack on. I just kind of feel shitty right now. I know once I get used to things and the new routine I’ll feel better but I also know that it will be quiet a while before that happens. I’ll keep updating about it though. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll look back at this and be proud I survived another stressful period in my life.