I found out last night that Nick lied to me again. He lied to me about the most stupid, irrelevant bullshit that I seriously couldn’t believe it. I just don’t understand why he feels the need to lie to me about things that are not even important and if he was being honest about them, wouldn’t have any negative effect on him at all. It’s beyond frustrating but what’s worse is any progress he’s made in the past year and half has been erased. All of gone because he couldn’t be honest about something that didn’t need lying about. I think I am getting ahead of myself. Let me explain why I find this so frustrating and annoying.
Nick had been playing an online game on his mobile phone. I knew about this game. I didn’t care he was playing. He always said that if I wanted to go through it to make sure he wasn’t doing anything inappropriate that I could whenever I wanted (like I needed his permission for that). I was fine with it and he had said that he was making friends and enjoyed it so I didn’t care and was happy he found a hobby. Then he texted me one morning saying how it was a distraction and he had deleted it. When we talked about it, it came out that a female had been talking about her boobs over the group chat the game had and Nick felt uncomfortable. He told the girl to take it to private chat and I guess they kicked him out of the group. He was upset by it and deleted the game. I told him that I thought he should have not deleted it and that I was sorry that some dick head treated him like that.
The next day I see his work phone blowing up and it’s notifications from the game. I asked him about it and he said that he had just deleted the game off his phone and had not deleted it from his work phone yet. He said he hadn’t played it since he deleted it. After he leaves the room I go into his phone and the game. Yeah, the asshole had been playing it all day and had just lied to me about it. What the fuck???
I told him I was fine with him playing the game. I told him I was happy he was making nerd friends. I told him to not delete the game. Why the absolute fuck are you lying to me about it? What is the point. I supported your stupid nerd game this entire time and now you lie to me about it. Congrats on making me officially done caring about you Nick. Why the hell should I keep doing this? And here I was actually thinking about going to marriage counseling with him again. Definitely not doing that anymore. I’m not going to sit in a room and pay out the ass to fix our relationship when Nick hasn’t even fixed himself enough to be in a healthy relationship.
I’m over this. I’m over him. He can do whatever the hell he wants to but he needs to leave me the fuck alone. I have no problem co-parenting with him but I am not considering him my partner from this day forward. I don’t care why he was lying about it. I don’t care how he was feeling before, during or after lying to me about. I don’t care anymore. He will never respect me enough to be honest with me. If he’s willing to lie about a stupid game then he’s willing to lie to me about a whole lot more and I’m over living that kind of life.