What was the most memorable part of this past month?
Unfortunately, the most memorable thing for me in March was struggling with myself. I’ve been in a melancholy mood for some time and have been trying to work through everything. I’m just now seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
What were the three biggest lessons you’ve learned in this past month?
- I’ve learned that you have to fight for yourself sometimes. People don’t always understand what I’m going through but I’m still going through it and no one has the right to tell me to just get over it. Sometimes to get over things you have to work through them and not just ignore them.
- I also learned that sometimes the people who should be there for you aren’t going to be. I’ve struggled with this lesson for a long time and I’m just now grasping that some people just really shouldn’t be in my life at all. I should be able to count on the people closest to me when I need them and if I can’t then they should be close to me at all.
- The most important lesson I learned is that I’m always stronger than I think. This is just one more month and one more time where I have had to pull myself up by the bootstraps and keep it moving. I don’t think anyone who walks in my shoes for a day would say that my life is easy but I’m not going to go cry in the corner about it. I just keep going because I have to and because I’m strong enough to do just that.
Are you happy with how you spent your time this month? What steps can you take this next month to adjust them?
No, I’m not happy with how I spent my time this month. A lot of time was wasted sitting around looking at all the things I haven’t done or want to do. I should have spent more time just doing those things or planning those things. Instead, I just to wallow.
Next month I plan on actually doing some of those things. I’ve already marked some things on my calendar and made appointments so there is no turning back. I mean, I could cancel them or cross them off my calendar but I’m not going to do that. In my mind, they are set in stone.
How are you different between this past month and the month before it?
A lot of last month was the same feeling of just wishing I could do more without actually trying to do more. This month was a lot of that same feeling but now I’m starting to see that I just need to do all these things and stop letting myself hold me back. I guess that makes the biggest difference between this month and last my mindset.
What or who are you especially grateful for this past month?
I’m grateful for myself this month. I’ve had to be the one to get myself through another rough patch so I’ll stroke my own ego right now.
Name three things you can improve on next month. What are concrete actions you can take to work towards these improvements?
- I can ask for help from other people. When I talked to my parents or my sister I never told them how bad I was feeling. I’m sure that they would have listened and given good advice but who wants to tell people about how shitty their lives are. Once I realized that the people who live closest to me weren’t going to help, I should have called the people who know me best.
- Next month I’m going to actually do things that I’ve been wanting to do for a long time. I’m not going to wait around or put things off. It’s time to just do them, check them off the list and start adding more things to do. I should be living a full life with stories I can tell and experience I’ll remember for a lifetime.
- Next month I’m going to do more of what I already know I love. I’ve found myself not doing the things that make me happy. I stopped listening to music, I stopped writing entirely and stopped doing a ton of other hobbies. I want to get back to doing those things because they are what brings me joy. It’s the small pleasures in life that make the biggest difference.
From 1-10, how do you feel overall about this past month?
I’d have to give this month a 1. I really didn’t accomplish anything and I didn’t do much of anything. It was a bad month.