What was the most memorable part of this past month?
Finishing another quarter of school and starting the house hunting process in Minnesota (more on that to come).
What were the three biggest lessons you’ve learned in this past month?
1) I’m kind of a control freak and I need to relax. I worry about what might or could happen that I try to control everything around me. I’ve gotten the first step out of the way by realizing that I’m letting my fear of the unknown take over causing my controlling behavior. The second step would be to actually address the issue.
2) I need to learn how to love myself again. Loving yourself can mean a lot of things but a broad definition in it’s simplest form is that you accept yourself, respect yourself and think positive about yourself. I haven’t done those things for a long time and it’s time for a change. I’m tired of feeling shitty because I’m actively going against what I know I should be doing in order to love myself. I’ve been lazy too long in this area and it’s time to stop.
3) I legitimately can’t think of another lesson I learned in March. Big or small I’m drawing a total blank but I feel like the first two are pretty big so I’m okay with it.
How are you different between this past month and the month before it?
I’m more self-aware and I’m not so concerned with the petty small things that just don’t matter. The older I get the more I’m realizing what is important and what isn’t.
What or who are you especially grateful for this past month?
I’m grateful for a supportive family this month. I’m lucky that I have family that will help me when I need it most and will go out of their way to help take care of me and my kids. My parents are more than willing to help me move even though they are out of their prime for moving boxes and furniture. I have a sister that is willing to spend her weekends going to open houses and willing to let me stay with her briefly while house hunting and moving. If it wasn’t for the help of my family I’m not sure how I would be able to move.
Name three things you can improve on next month. What are concrete actions you can take to work towards these improvements?
1) Try to be less controlling. I’m trying really hard to recognize when I’m being controlling and to stop myself. I’ve identified some of the times when I’m most controlling like when I’m in the car or out and about. At those times I remind myself that everything is fine and to stop telling everyone what to do. This is going to be difficult but the more I call myself out on my bad behavior the more I can change it.
2) Take better care of myself. That means taking regular showers, brushing my teeth, taking my vitamins and getting enough sleep. It also means that when I recognize that I’m just doing things to waste time that I stop and do something that will make me feel good. Instead of wasting hours watching cat videos on YouTube at night, I want to grab a book to read or write in my journal.
3) Be more present. That means turning off my phone or computer to spend time with the kids or Nick. Think less of the past or what needs to happen in the future and just do what I have to or want to at the moment. I can’t change what is in the past and I can’t control what is in the future so there is no point in dwelling on it.
From 1-10, how do you feel overall about this past month?
I would give March an 8. I was really productive with what I had to do. I spent lots of time thinking about how to improve myself and my surroundings. I also had a very optimistic outlook on my future. All that made me feel really good this month.