A friend the other day asked me “What do you love to do that you aren’t doing?” I sat there thinking about it, staring off into space. Then I sat there, staring off into space. What the hell is wrong with me! I know I’m not doing all the things I want to do, why can’t I think of anything. What do I want to be doing? It took me a long time to think of something and only at my friends prompting did I come up with an answer.
“I want to be doing art.”
“What do you mean art?” my friend quipped.
“I used to paint all the time and draw and do ceramics and shit. You know… ART.”
My friend laughed at me and told me to do it then. That simple. Just do it. Apparently I’m a Nike commercial away from just doing what I want. My first reaction to my friend was to come up with fifty million excuses on why I couldn’t be doing what I really wanted to be doing. I have kids, a husband, responsibilities, you know… grown-up crap. Then I sat there some more as she stared me down with that “I’m annoyed at you for not getting what I’m saying” look. It’s cool, I get it. Stop making excuses and find a way to do something you enjoy every now and then.
This got me thinking even more because, true to form, my brain is a Pringle and once you pop you just can’t stop. Why do I keep making excuses that I can’t do what I enjoy? For years I have stayed home with my kids and took care of everyone but myself. I put everything I loved doing on the back burner for everyone else. Why? Oh yeah, because it’s easy to not make an effort. It’s so easy to say that other things are more important, and sometimes other things are more important. But not always.
I think it’s time for a change. I want to start doing things that I used to enjoy doing every now and then. I used to love ceramics. Playing with the clay, pulling what was in my imagination and forming it into real life, firing it and seeing it come to life, painting it with great detail to make it how my minds eye sees it. So, today I have decided to start saving for a ceramics class. I’m going to become deliberate in actions and, as my friend so lovingly put it, just do it. No fear, no guilt, just me doing something I love.