I’m just not feeling it today. I’m tired, my patience is gone, and everything feels more momentous than it probably should. I don’t know why. I think because I stayed up too late last night and because I had to wake up early today that I don’t have the brain power to hold back my thoughts and feelings. Memories come flooding in, mostly bad, and I can’t stop them. I hate remembering. I hate remembering so much I’ve actually looked into how to lose my memory. Electroshock is all there is right now but a pill form is being tested on rats right now, so cross your fingers for me. I don’t know what to do or how to get past this. Maybe now is the time to sleep so that I can have a little brain power tomorrow to hold it all in again. Maybe I need to stop holding it in. Maybe I should reconsider a divorce. Divorce sounds kind of nice right now and so easy. Until it’s not. Ehh, it doesn’t matter, I just need sleep.