Happy Sunday friends! Big news in my world. Turns out my husband isn’t a sex addict… yeah, apparently they don’t exist. Who the hell knew that, I sure as shit didn’t. Anyways, things got really bad after last Friday, and by bad, I mean terrible. I was sure divorce was imminent and I was sure I hated my husband. I was so frustrated and hurt and thought that nothing was getting better and it never was. But, after speaking to my dad, who I haven’t talked to in month, he gave me some good advice. Drop the marriage counselor we had because she wasn’t helping and go to someone who could. Almost immediately after get off the phone with him I emailed one of the best certified sexologists in the nation thinking he wouldn’t even read it. Less than 5 minutes after I hit send that doctor called me!
The first thing he said was that sex was not an addiction and to NEVER, EVER go to SAA meetings. That they will only mess you up more. I was fine with all that. Then he said he wanted to see us the next day for a 3-hour appointment. I was super nervous but I had to do it. If I wanted my marriage to work, I couldn’t let fear or anything else hold me back. I called my husband and basically said we had a new marriage counselor and that we have an appointment for tomorrow. He was completely shocked. I was worried he was angry but he said he wasn’t just surprised that I would do all this. I guess I can still surprise people.
The next day we drove an hour and a half one way to make our appointment. My husband talked to the doctor first while I sat there a nervous wreck. After he was done, it was my turn. I sat down, signed the confidentiality agreement and did a silent prayer that this man could fix my marriage. The first thing he said to me was that this marriage was fixable and that he had seen marriages much worse. He said my husband had blurred the lines between fantasy and reality. I was still really hurt by what my husband did but the doctor seemed to think it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. I was somewhat relieved that he said we could fix this and even more relieved when he looked at my husband and said that he could NEVER do anything like this again. And when all was said and done I felt good about seeing this man. I felt a little better about my marriage and a little better about what happened. I’ve still had hard moments but not so many bad days. I’m hopeful. So hopefully things get better but I’ll keep you posted.