I used to believe that there was one special person out there for me. That when we met, we would lock eyes and just know that we fit together like a two piece puzzle. I thought this well into the beginning of my relationship with my husband. I thought he was my missing half. That he would be the one to complete me. I fantasized about how our wedding would be and how our life would be, where we completed each other and knew what each other thought. It was a perfect fantasy. Unfortunately, that was all it was, a fantasy.
Now that I am older, and just a touch wiser, I realize that soul mates do exist but not in the way we think they do. For a long time both myself and my husband tried to get each other to complete the other, completely missing the fact that we should be complete on our own. We told ourselves this lie that if we were meant for each other, if we were “soul mates”, that our relationship wouldn’t be so much work. That thinking got us into so much trouble.
Do I believe in soul mates? Yes, but I believe that soul mates aren’t someone you are destine for but someone you are willing to work for. I believe that you choose your soul mate. That you only get out of your relationship what you put in. It took me a long time to realize that. I always knew that relationships were work. That I would have to put in effort to sustain the love between myself and my husband. What I didn’t realize is just how much work I would have to put in. That I could never become complacent in my effort for a better, more loving relationship. That I would have to do things I didn’t always enjoy or want to do. I never realized how much I would have to sacrifice for my relationship.
Up until recently I didn’t even realize how much I had sacrificed for my relationship. Moving places I didn’t want to move to, dealing with people I didn’t want to deal with, sacrificing my time and energy. But just today I realized that my husband is my soul mate. Not because we were destine for each other but because if I had to go back and sacrifice everything all over again, I would. There are definitely things I would do differently but at the end of the day I feel like my husband is worth it. He made mistakes, as have I. He has messed up big time. But I choose my husband for better or worse and at the end of the day I still love him. He hasn’t been perfect and he could have sacrificed more but so could I.
I’m choosing to work with my soul mate to make this relationship work. I’m choosing to believe that my soul mate can change for the better. I’m choosing my husband to be my soul mate. So if you ask me if soul mates exist, I’d look you straight in the eye with a smile on my face and simple say, yes, if you choose one.