I recently read of a girl who met a man who has no past.
She talked of how he actually does have a past, that everyone does. That she knows this to be true by talking to the man and that he is simply not allowed to have one anymore.
This man is apparently not a refugee and is not in the witness protection program but that this particular man is not allowed to have a past because there is a person in his life that doesn’t want him to. But you see, I believe I know this man with no past and he has told me all about it.
This man grew up feeling alone as if he were a square peg trying to fit into a circle. He never felt understood and he was rarely accepted for who he was. As he grew he hardened himself and resolved himself to what he thought his reality would be. I know this because he told me so.
Then one day he met a girl. He was not particularly interested in this girl. He was not particularly attracted to this girl. He did not find this girl particularly interesting. But what he did like was that this girl gave him attention. She made him feel wanted and attractive. The man liked this very much. He decided that he would see this girl but would not let anyone else see her. He would hide her away because he was embarrassed by her. She would not meet his friends and she would not spend great lengths of time with the man’s family. He was ashamed of her. I know this because he told me so.
Then one day the girl left but promised to stay in touch and that they would be together again but they never were together again. The girl hurt him very badly, made promises she never kept and made him wait for something that would never come. The girl was just as selfish as the man was, you see. I know this because he told me so.
Then one day the man met a woman. He fell in love with this woman, he told her so the very day they met. Once the girl found out the man moved on, she was hurt and angry. She reached out trying to get his attention. She was desperate. She wanted what she couldn’t have. The man decided the best thing to do was to tell the girl to leave him alone because of his new woman. That it was making his new relationship hard and that his woman was more important than her. But this girl was desperate and she would not. She blamed the woman for the man’s decision to cut her out. The man let her believe that it was the woman’s fault but he knew it was his. I know this because he told me so.
Eventually, the girl became distracted by other pursuits, all of which crumbled under her. The man continued to let the girl believe it was the woman who kept the man away. The man knew that wasn’t true. Then one day the girl ran into the man. She began to pursue him again. Begging for his time and attention, always blaming the woman for never getting enough of him. The man obliged for a time until the girl pushed too much. She had always wanted too much. The man told her he knew what he wanted and it wasn’t her. He made it clear there wouldn’t be a friendship between them. The man had decided to end it once and for all. I know this because he told me so.
The woman knew her man had a past and the man knew his woman had a past. They were both okay with each other’s pasts but they both wanted to keep their pasts where they belonged, in the past. When the girl wouldn’t let the man keep his past where he wanted he got angry and upset so he erased the girl altogether. I know this because he told me so.
The girl, in her pain and humiliation, never once thought that this man could make his own decisions. She thought him so weak to allow his woman to control him. The girl told herself the woman was at fault for all this, for his rejection of her and for rejecting his past. She made up stories in her head to sort everything into place because the man would never do this to her. She had to lie to herself to keep herself up. She just wouldn’t allow herself to be completely rejected so she blamed the woman. I know this because she told me so.