Ever since the beginning of this blog I have been coming up with monthly goals I want to accomplish. Unfortunately, I will not be accomplishing my goals for the month of October. This is a deliberate decision by me and I feel like I need to explain why. Let’s start from the beginning.
Stuck in a Rut
Since moving out of Seattle and to a more rural setting in December of 2016 I’ve been feeling very disconnected. Added to that is that I haven’t been able to go back to school for financial reasons which made me feel unproductive. Let’s not forget the stress of purchasing our first home and you have a mix of some pretty negative emotions.
All that has me feeling as if I’m not able to work towards my bigger life goals. Since the beginning of 2017, I’ve slowly been getting more depressed, anxious and unmotivated. I can’t say that I’ve hit rock bottom but as I approach my 30th birthday I’m realizing that I need to change.
With that in mind, I decided to be so bold as to add a self-help book to my birthday wish list. I decided that Adventures for Your Soul by Shannon Kaiser was the best book to start with. I was lucky enough that my sister got it for me as an early birthday present. As I began to read I quickly realized that I couldn’t answer the questions that Shannon Kaiser was presenting to me. I couldn’t answer them because I didn’t know what I wanted.
Where do I want to live? What do I want to do with my life? What is holding me back? Am I a victim of other people’s poor decisions or a victim of my own insecurities? Where do I even begin?
The Desire Map
Figuring out what you want in life can happen in many different ways. For me, it was a book recommendation from a friend. She recommended The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte. In The Desire Map LaPorte talks a lot about how we are setting our goals backward. People will set goals to make them feel a certain way while we should be deciding how we want to feel and then setting goals that help us obtain those feelings. Instead of setting a goal to exercise so we feel healthy, we should say to ourselves that we want to feel healthy and what can we do to help us feel that way.
My Goal Setting
Since I started setting goals on this blog I’ve done it with little to no thought. I would say that I want to make an exercise routine not because I particularly wanted to but because I felt like I should since I’ve gained weight. Or, I want to post a new blog post once a week when I know that I’m really not in a place to do that right now but I feel obligated to try or at least say that I will.
I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to make real progress in my life and not just pretend. That means I’m throwing out my October goals and spending November contemplating how I want to feel and then setting goals around those feelings. LaPorte says to pick 4 feelings and then build your goals off of those so that is what I’m going to try to do.
I’m still slowly working my way through The Desire Map so I won’t have any goals for November, sorry about that. I’m hoping after I’m done reading the book and finish the workbook section that I’ll have an update for you and some new goals.